STATS;
Taken 01/05/2010.
- Weight; 78 kilos.
- Bodyfat; 33.9%
- BMI; 34
Measurements;
- Waist; 87.5cms
- Arms; 35cms
- Bust; 99.5cms
- Hips; 110cms
- Tummy; 112.5cms
- Thighs; 67cms
- Will take measurements on the 1st of every month.
GOALS;;
- 1st goal; lose 5 kilos (73 kilos)
Reward; Mat will start exercising... heheheh!
-2nd goal; 10% gone (70.2 kilos)
Reward; Pandora braclet, plus charm. New charm every 5 kilos.
- 3rd goal; under 70 kilos
Reward; New handbag
-4th goal; 10 kilos gone (68 kilos)
Reward; Night at the movies
-5th goal; Under 65 kilos
Reward; Hair done
- 6th goal; 15 kilos gone (63 kilos)
Reward; Not sure yet :-)
-7th goal; under 60 kilos
Reward; Massage and manicure.
Goal weight; 57 kilos
Personal goal weight, 52-55 kilos.
Reward; CLOTHES!!!!! :-D
Monday, May 3, 2010
The fat photo...
I'm almost too embarrassed to post this photo, i can't believe its me! How did i ever let myself get like this? This one was taken just the other day, Sunday May 2nd 2010. Me and Lily joined my Mum and her girlfriends for lunch at sizzler, needless to say I was trying to avoid the photos, but that plan didn't work. I cried for an hour over this photo, its horrible. And has really made me realise i NEED to do something about my weight. For my health AND my happiness.
anyways, this is the photo that has made me want to lose the weight for good, and as much as i dont want to post it i know i have to, i have to face my demons and admit how overweight i am, or i will forever be in this denial and i will forever be overweight and unhappy and i will never be the healthy happy beautiful woman i know that i can be, that i want to be, that i deserve to be...
Here goes.... EEp!!
Getting my butt into gear...
Well i've finally bit the bullet & decided to create a blog! I'm hoping it can help me with not only my weight loss but my emotions too. I'm not going to pour my heart out here, some things are personal but i think it'll help, by writing things down hopefully i'll find some people in the same boat as me.
I've been feeling a bit down lately, i think a lot to do with the fact that i'm just so overweight... i'm not happy with myself at all & it's affecting me in every area of my life. I just wanna be happy & healthy, i don't care about being the prettiest girl, the hottest girl or anything like that, hell to be honest i wouldn't want that much attention, i'm a shy person and prefer to get no attention at all. But i'm just sick of having no clothes to wear, sick of crying every time i get dressed, i hate looking in the mirror, i would rather just remain in denial about my looks than actually face the reality. But i think now it's time to get real and stop living in this state of denial... I know i'm fat, overweight, even obese according to my BMI, i know i can be beautiful, i know i don't have to cry every day because im so hideous. I need to stop telling myself im not THAT fat, that the camera angle was bad, that my mirror makes me look fat, that my clothes have shrunk in the wash, that clothing sizes in shops are shrinking etc... no mel, its you. you've put on weight and it's time to admit to it.
I think this is why most of my weight loss attempts have never worked, i've always been in denial, "i'm not that fat, i don't eat that much, i eat healthy etc." truth be i don't eat that much, but what i do eat is calorie and fat filled crap, no wonder im so tired and feel so shit!
I've been overweight pretty much all of my life, i don't know why, and i guess in the end that's not what's important. What is important is that just because i've been overweight my whole life doesn't mean it always has to be like that.
In january 2007 i became a mummy to a beautfiful little girl, arriving 8 days late but perfect none the less. Before i fell pregnant i was overweight, i weighed about 68 kilos (im 151cms) due mostly to not exercising, not eating properly and a hell of a lot of binge drinking. I stopped drinking when i fell pregnant, but ate a lot of crap. I had terrible morning sickness for the first few months, all i felt like was strawberries and cream and quater pounders. I would eat 2 bacon deluxes from hungry jacks for breakfast... disgusting! I weighed 90 kilos at the end of my pregnancy, a week after i had lily i weighed 72 kilos. My skin was horrible, oily with pimples and blotches, my hair always greasy, i just was not happy with how i looked. I joined weight watchers, and lost weight, getting down to 57 kilos -even wearing size 10 denim skirts! I was happy and healthy with where i was. I ended up moving down to Melbourne in January of 2008 and weight watchers and all my work went out the window. I joined Weight Watchers in November of 2008, weighing in at 66.1 kilos, with the points system and gym i got back down to 61 kilos, but battling depression and psychosis and feeling very alone, again it went out the window. I ended up ending the relationship i was in as i was not happy and moved back home to brissy after some major things happened. I stopped breastfeeding at this time to (due to personal reasons that ended me up in hospital) i started drinking again and whoom - on went the weight. I've ballooned up to 78 kilos, yes 78! this is the heaviest ive ever been! I quit drinking 2 months ago as i believe it largely holds a big place as to why i put on so much weight. Plus i was starting to drink every night once the kids had gone to bed and decided it was not a habit i wanted to get into. Not to mention expensive, spending $90 a night on drinks for my partner and i.... What a waste! Thankfully my partner thought the same thing and it made it so much easier to give it up. Now we both wake up feeling good instead of hungover!
Onwards and forwards now though, slow and steady this time. Too many attempts at losing weight have failed. I focus on the food too much, this time i'm focusing on the exercise and just eating to feel healthy rather than losing weight and depriving myself. I know that the weight loss will follow, it's why it worked back in 2007. And it's going to work in 2010 too.
So my plan this week for exercise is - gym tomorrow, cardio and weights. & zumba classes with jess on friday.. Plus 2 walks, if the weather clears up. Otherwise 2 x 30 min sessions on the Wii. Last week was my first week at zumba and it was great! the class goes for an hour and boy, its definately a work out, but it's so fun that you're sweating but having fun at the same time. I recommend it to everyone.
Well better be off, got a few things to do around the house.
Look forward to writing more.
Mel xx
I've been feeling a bit down lately, i think a lot to do with the fact that i'm just so overweight... i'm not happy with myself at all & it's affecting me in every area of my life. I just wanna be happy & healthy, i don't care about being the prettiest girl, the hottest girl or anything like that, hell to be honest i wouldn't want that much attention, i'm a shy person and prefer to get no attention at all. But i'm just sick of having no clothes to wear, sick of crying every time i get dressed, i hate looking in the mirror, i would rather just remain in denial about my looks than actually face the reality. But i think now it's time to get real and stop living in this state of denial... I know i'm fat, overweight, even obese according to my BMI, i know i can be beautiful, i know i don't have to cry every day because im so hideous. I need to stop telling myself im not THAT fat, that the camera angle was bad, that my mirror makes me look fat, that my clothes have shrunk in the wash, that clothing sizes in shops are shrinking etc... no mel, its you. you've put on weight and it's time to admit to it.
I think this is why most of my weight loss attempts have never worked, i've always been in denial, "i'm not that fat, i don't eat that much, i eat healthy etc." truth be i don't eat that much, but what i do eat is calorie and fat filled crap, no wonder im so tired and feel so shit!
I've been overweight pretty much all of my life, i don't know why, and i guess in the end that's not what's important. What is important is that just because i've been overweight my whole life doesn't mean it always has to be like that.
In january 2007 i became a mummy to a beautfiful little girl, arriving 8 days late but perfect none the less. Before i fell pregnant i was overweight, i weighed about 68 kilos (im 151cms) due mostly to not exercising, not eating properly and a hell of a lot of binge drinking. I stopped drinking when i fell pregnant, but ate a lot of crap. I had terrible morning sickness for the first few months, all i felt like was strawberries and cream and quater pounders. I would eat 2 bacon deluxes from hungry jacks for breakfast... disgusting! I weighed 90 kilos at the end of my pregnancy, a week after i had lily i weighed 72 kilos. My skin was horrible, oily with pimples and blotches, my hair always greasy, i just was not happy with how i looked. I joined weight watchers, and lost weight, getting down to 57 kilos -even wearing size 10 denim skirts! I was happy and healthy with where i was. I ended up moving down to Melbourne in January of 2008 and weight watchers and all my work went out the window. I joined Weight Watchers in November of 2008, weighing in at 66.1 kilos, with the points system and gym i got back down to 61 kilos, but battling depression and psychosis and feeling very alone, again it went out the window. I ended up ending the relationship i was in as i was not happy and moved back home to brissy after some major things happened. I stopped breastfeeding at this time to (due to personal reasons that ended me up in hospital) i started drinking again and whoom - on went the weight. I've ballooned up to 78 kilos, yes 78! this is the heaviest ive ever been! I quit drinking 2 months ago as i believe it largely holds a big place as to why i put on so much weight. Plus i was starting to drink every night once the kids had gone to bed and decided it was not a habit i wanted to get into. Not to mention expensive, spending $90 a night on drinks for my partner and i.... What a waste! Thankfully my partner thought the same thing and it made it so much easier to give it up. Now we both wake up feeling good instead of hungover!
Onwards and forwards now though, slow and steady this time. Too many attempts at losing weight have failed. I focus on the food too much, this time i'm focusing on the exercise and just eating to feel healthy rather than losing weight and depriving myself. I know that the weight loss will follow, it's why it worked back in 2007. And it's going to work in 2010 too.
So my plan this week for exercise is - gym tomorrow, cardio and weights. & zumba classes with jess on friday.. Plus 2 walks, if the weather clears up. Otherwise 2 x 30 min sessions on the Wii. Last week was my first week at zumba and it was great! the class goes for an hour and boy, its definately a work out, but it's so fun that you're sweating but having fun at the same time. I recommend it to everyone.
Well better be off, got a few things to do around the house.
Look forward to writing more.
Mel xx
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